Thursday, September 29, 2011

Stage 5: Schwag, Lead Outs, and Hair Tufts

King Dan entered Wednesday’s night stage 5 of the antelope fall classic on a mission. After missing stage 4 altogether due to a mysterious and heretofore undisclosed ailment, the King had seen the upstart Jonesy move farther ahead in the standings. One more day of domination and Jonesy may have ended the competition for good. Determined not to give in, sources tell the Antelope Gazette that KD has retained the services of the infamous Italian Love Guru, Michaele Cyclarti. The controversial guru has rediscoverd ancient tantric meditation practices designed to increase cyclists' blood plasma volume and lactate threshold. These ancient practices which are illegal in most southeastern states have been cloaked in secrecy. Dan did look good in his new kit however

I climb with my third chakra and see the weaknesses of my competitors with my third eye.


22 riders signed in for Stage 5 of the classic and Cappy joined the group on Astondale. It was a big night as at stake was 3 points and some Hub schwag for the rider who devastated the peloton in an all out sacrificical, bone crushing pull on the Bishop Sprint. Also at stake were three for  a queen competitor who could pull a double (first woman on both sprints). Although Val had been our only queen rider for the last 3 weeks, word got out, and zombie forces sent a goth girl to try and steal the schwag from Val

Hub sox? Those are like the coolest!

 The herd welcomed  new Antelope, Bill who won the evening's best color coordinated kit competition.

What, I'm pretty sure there's some green  in this jersey.

Tony arrived triumphantly after conquering 6 Gaps last Sunday.  It appeared to have taken a bit of a toll on him.

Elder Mill will be nothing after Hogpen!

As usual, the herd members paid rapt attention as I went through the "10 commandments" of the Antelope series.

Hey guys, I'm over here, listen up.

 This bunch decided to have a private study group
Ok, thou shalt not break away outside of sprint zones, discuss.

At 6 PM sharp we headed out. It was a perfect evening as the herd headed south into the heart (or perhaps liver) of Oconee county. Competition on Elder Mill was fierce and Jonesy found himself in an unaccustomed place….in the wind going up the steeps. Despite MikeK’s valiant efforts to tow his Hubmate to the front, Jonesy was off the back with us Clydes and we all watched as Dan and Jeff hit the line followed by Mike.

Mike K-1

Goth girl and Val had a spirited contest but GG was distracted by some road kill and Val took the line. ½ way to the Queen double!

On the Bishop sprint Brian organized the peloton into a fancy rotating paceline for about half of the zone until Jamie decided it was time to go for the Mighty Mark Renshaw Lead Out Points. He put in a great pull but not enough to crack the group. With 1/2k to go Dan powered around the group, created a gap and the chase was on. The pack was devastated and Dan’s cranks wept with agony. The fast guys caught Dan just in time to shotgun to the finish. Once again it was series leader Jonesy putting in a well timed unstoppable charge .

Jonesy 3 points
Mike K 2 points
JeffY 1 point

And of course the lead out award went to:
King Dan—3 points and schwag

 Goth girs was focused this time and Val and GG were bumping elbows and trading head buts . Val would not be stopped and she took the queen sprint by a wheel. Here is Val with her schwag, it’s a little fuzzy because goth girl had cast a curse on my iphone.

The curse, however, was not powerful enough to affect Dan’s hair tuft, which once again stood proudly like a beacon of hope. Dan himself, though seems to have grown more sinister since Goth Girls's curse.

 The days are growing short so next week the ride starts at 5:45, hope to see you there.

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