Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Antelope or Canteloupe?

I was enjoying a sunny but windy ride on Sunday with my Nitty Gritty friends. I was chatting amiably with Ann who was riding her awesome new, custom steel Waterford bike when she said, "so you must ride with those cantalopes  from the Wednesday night ride."

Cantalopes? Cantaloupes?

So I guess that while we can try on nicknames that we hope to have, like the very graceful and very fast (just not quite as fast as Cheetahs) Antelope;  the ones that really stick are given by others. Kind of like when I was a kid and I hoped everyone would call me "Slick" or "Stud" but they just wouldn't stop calling me "Stinky" and "Dickhead." Given the way nicknames evolve it may well be the case that Cantaloupe comes to stand for the vast numbers of local, primarily middle age, male cyclists who dream of being fast but keep bumping up against obstacles like age, talent, training time, will power, and of course lack of enough money for a really fast bike. In case this is inevitable, I decided I should explore and perhaps embrace the consequences of a name change.

As usual, I google search images for inspiration. I would need to have a new image for the blog and a new theme.
And I was laying on the ground ready to be picked when I dropped my chain and got passed.
 We would need distinctive helmets. My cat Lucifer came up this idea:

Lucy crack you like egg, wheel sucker!

 Of course it has already been pointed out that while many (C)antelopes may not be svelte around the middle, we have butts like 2 ripe...
Are you staring at my cantaloupes again?

Admittedly, a grazing Cantalope doesn't really look very fast:

Uhhh, Moo? Baah? Maah? Whatever.
I have identified the perfect song entitled "Cantaloupes"  by the band "Darkbuster" for this new cycling group.

Of course while Cantelopes are generally prized for their sweetness, freshness, and firm round goodness, there are also some unfortunate cases of Cantelope abuse.

And many people may take references to Cantalopes for genitalia or other body parts:

But all in all, I believe I am ready to embrace this new group nickname if it comes to pass, just like I have learned to embrace my other nicknames. For example, here I am in the new jersey my wife just got me.

May you hammer like a thousand fresh cantaloupes rolling down a steep hill.

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