Saturday, December 4, 2010

WBL#1: Crackless in Homer

Morning weight:  Still 192lbs. I got hungry in the middle of the night and had a bowl of cereal. this certainly kept me from seeing 191.5. This is why I need constant ridicule and humilation.

Overnight ridicule?
Anonymous posted: "I thought I was riding my bike behind a truck but it was really you and your ass."

Thanks anon, you have motivated me to eat very carefully today.

By the way have you seen my ass lately? I haven't pet my ass in quite a while

What a day it was. The first official WBL saw dozens of riders congregate at Sunshine in a carnivalesque atmosphere. Several antelope herd members were there, the Reverend, PaulG, Jeffey, MarkY, Superdraft, and BenS. JimK who should have been at the Antelope rides but wasn't was there.  People were psyched to ride.

I wish I had an epic tale of suffering to tell. For sure Briggs Carney will have a pithy and humorous narrative that you won't want to miss and he has posted the vital statistics of the ride: 75 miles at 20.3, though I think it was 20.5 before we went through downtown traffic.3800 feet of elevation gain. Several members of the herd came home with the pack and earned 3 points though I'm not sure I have everyone's  story. For sure, 3 points a piece to:

Now I expected to have tales of suffering and failure, but while it was a tough ride it really was not too bad. In fact, I did not crack at all and kept up on nearly every hill. Once I was chatting too much and didn't concentrate on a hill and lost a few spots but I never really cracked. In fact I was absolutely crackless.

At this point I would like nothing better than to show an image of man with no butt crack or a sealed butt crack with a caption, "crackless just like Antelope Athens." However, when I searched for an appropriate image, well I got some strange things. For example here is a conversation among body builders about the pros and cons of shaving their butt cracks. Here are a few highlights of the postings:
---Ever Shaved Butt Crack or Wanted To? tips?
---How do you do it? Bend over and look in the mirror with a razor and shaving cream? I'm thinking about shaving the crack guyz, I mean I shave my balls and **** and I have one hairy ass crack as I'm sure everyone else does... What do ya'll think?

--done its once Don't do it Itches to hell

----i do because I dont like 1 inch butt hair. downside is no friction and you can sometimes feel your ass cheeks rubbing against each other.
Its nice to know that muscular fellows can share such intimate details of their hygiene with one another. Communication is the key.

The point is that I rode pretty strong and felt pretty good. This is most likely due to the influence of the newest member of my family. I mentioned to just about everyone I knew last summer that I was expecting a baby, a new bicycle bestowed upon me by the Cadillac Leader of the Pack Sweepstakes stork. Yes people actually win those things and somehow I was the lucky one. 4 months after the tour de france, I am cruising on my supersweet Cervelo R3 with SRAM Red. 

"R3! GRRRWLLLL" (uvula cat like sound).

 Here is my baby being built at my local Cervelo dealer in ATL.

Not only does this baby ride like a dream, it makes me dinner, tucks me into bed, and has secretly been sucking body fat out of my midsection (I think that is why I am 192 and not 200). My bike is magic.

I have also been having my fit dialed in by pro fitter, Grant at the Hub. First he measured me and my old bike and gave me the right size to ask for.

Hmm, this Antelope has a rather lengthy top tube!
I highly recommend pro bike fit services for those seeking to make the Antelope to Cheetah, or Gazelle to Antelope transitions, or if you just want to more comfortable and efficient on your bike.

Back to today's ride. A peloton 200 strong took off out of Sunshine towards J-River meandering through familiar roads like Apple Valley and heading towards Homer. It was cool and evidently windy but in the pack you never know. There is quite a cast of characters on these rides. There is a giant man who I think works at Georgia Cycle and has the most coveted profile for drafting in the entire group. There were elite and pro dudes. I saw a skinny young guy in fancy BMC clothing and a high zoot BMC bike, and I thought, "hmmm I wonder if that is Brent Bookwalter, Tour de France finisher." And sure enough I heard someone call him "Brent" so I am nearly convinced I got this one right. I didn't meet him yet, I think he was up front doing things like pulls. I met Eddie O'Dea who is a badass pro mountain biker and super nice guy.  There was a guy in a purple kit with purple woolen looking leggings who I named to myself "Flashdance." Just all kinds and most quite nice.

So I made it to the pee break without incident though the accordion effect of speeding up and slowing down was wearing me a bit as we finally got to the store stop. Some young guy went dumpster diving and came up with uneaten pizzas which he promptly chowed down on and put an extra slice between his seatpost and saddle bag for later. Must be a Euro thing.  When we got back on the road it was cold. Like freezing. I was wanting hills just to get some heat into my body and I couldn't feel my extremities . It took about 45 minutes to warm back up and then we just flew through the open country side on the way back to end up on Nowhere Rd to head back to Athens. It was a perfect ride until just in sight of downtown, 2 or 3 guys crashed just ahead and to the left of me. I was clear of it but these things are always really scary. I found out that Marky was in the crash which is a major bummer. He is OK but his frame might be damaged.

If there were 2, 750 readers of this blog and we all gave Marky just 1$, he could replace his old giant frame with this:
My steadfast readers, Mom, wife, and anon have already pledged, so we are up to 3$. Hang in there Marky and let me know if you want to borrow my old Cannondale.

Anyone up for a ride on Wed?


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