Monday, December 6, 2010

Help Jeffey Fight His Obesity

Monday AM pre-poop weight= 190.5. Sweet. I have eaten good (yes I know that's grammatically incorrect) all weekend in part thanks to my wife deciding we are going on a "brain food" diet. Evidently Count Chocula, peanut butter and, cheesecake are not brain foods so I'm not only slightly lighter but my brain may be working better as well.

Unfortunately, I have received no humiliating epithets via email. This is most likely because no one reads this and no one cares. OK, I can accept that, I still have my Mom, my wife, and Mr. Anon. Its not the quantity, its the quality. But actually I have a 4th reader and new participant in the great Antelope weight humiliation challenge: Jeffey!
Oh my God, can you believe the size of my ass?
Jeffey (aka JeffY), winner of the Antelope Fall Classic and current King of the Antelope Herd took a long look in the mirror and realized he was fat. Since the AFC he has been living in the Antelope Palace eating bon bons and recounting his glory days to serving wenches. The results are not pretty. Jeffey is now hitting the scales at a whopping

167lbs

OMG. It is amazing that he was able to pull that fat ass to Homer and back on Saturday's WBL and come in with the group. Jeffey has defined his target cheetah weight:

Goal: 157lbs


So Jeffey needs your help. Please humiliate him on sight and on this site. Now I know that you might have noticed something like, hey Antelope dude, Jeffey is only an inch or two shorter than you and he is already 24 pounds lighter. Well, actually Jeffey is 5'2"--he has optical illusion cycling shoes that make him look taller, so trust me his is really a fat ass and we need to help this poor schlub lose weight.

Toughen up, Jeffey, put down that pie. You're embarrassing us.

Anyone else ready to join the challenge?

AA

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