Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Saturday Morning Ride: Ignoring Steve's Ass and Keeping Wives Happy

Every Saturday morning at 8AM a small group has been getting together at the Watkinsville courthouse for an Antelope-paced ride. I have grown increasingly attached to this ride as it my endurance training for the WBL rides in December and of course, because of the deep and abiding attachment that has been building with what I now refer to as, my Ass. Now I know in my last post I hinted that actual pictures of my Ass may be forthcoming. Unfortunately, after several hundred consecutive rides remembering to take my phone (with camera capacity) the one day I had photography goals, I left it in the car. So I will have to tell this story with fake pictures.

But first, like every good ride, this one had a theme. Its a common theme and one that is almost always driven by faster riders with smaller children. It is the dreaded, "we have to really go, I have to get home, " theme. This can be particularly frightening when da Beast is on the ride, which is rare on the weekends as he has two kids. Mark Y picked up this theme (he's got little kids) and as Mark, like Jeff Y, have apparently been doping lately thus allowing them to keep up with random mountain goats on all the steep climbs, this was going to be a painful ride. If you listen to alot of guys with young kids, if they don't attack every hill they face certain death at home from a spouse. You begin to get an image of what it must be like for them:
You are 5 minutes late! You love that bicycle more than your family!

Of course when you finally meet their spouses in person they are more like this:

I think its really important that you have bike time honey. BTW I'm not anyone's wife on the Antelope Rides, I'm just a random smiling lady from the internet! Hi :-)

So when it came time to pet Steve's ass, no one but me stopped. Imagine, a deep abiding tradition of stopping 23 miles in that has endured nearly 7 weeks was just ignored. Well, I wasn't letting anyone's devotion to family life get in the way of me and my Ass! By the way, here is an image that is reminiscent of my ass.

Just kidding. My ass looks kind of like this:
Hi, I'm Steve's ass, he's the only cyclist that pets me every Saturday. I love him.

This was the week when I was going to let everyone pet my Ass. I thought Lenny in particular was interested in my Ass but that was just him grabbing my seat on a hill. No, the group just rode on. So I scratched his bony noggin for a few minutes by myself. My ass offered to take me up the brutal, short hill just before Lake Oconee if I would share a gel pack with him.

But I decided to take the hill on my own. My ass appeared to understand and I think we left on good terms but he might have been showing me his ass.

Until next week my friend may your grass be tender.


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