Friday, August 13, 2010

Evolution in the Antelope Herd: Hybrid Species evolving before our eyes.

It has become apparent after Wednesday evening’s ride, that something profound is occurring in the Antelope Herd. Despite the oppressive heat, over 15 riders showed for a practice round on the Antelope testing grounds. Many were new faces (though not always on new bodies) and many had watts to spare. With Spinmaster Shiver not present we would all expect da Beast to be alone at the end of Elder Mill Hill (given the resuscitation of Mr. Lite”the_single”_speed after last week’s catastrophic titanium breakdown). But it was not to be. No fewer than 5 riders contested the sprint shoulder to shoulder with the beast.  Fully 12 riders had fallen asleep while soft pedaling after the sprint it took so long for some of us to finally catch up. Some riders clocked this innocuous Wed pre-Fall Classic ride at over 19.5 mph average.
It was becoming clear to me that some sort interspecies hybridization was occurring. Evidently, some cheetahs in antelope clothing had been co-mingling with the herd resulting in a new generation of “Cheetahlopes.” There is of course a long history of this sort of mixing occurring. Recall the now historic time in Topeka Kansas when tiger-speed riders found their way into a herd of wild horse cyclists:

And of course everyone recalls the bizarre evolution that took place among triathletes in Cocoa Beach, FL back in 92:  

 Already there appears to be an outcry from the right hand side of the Peloton claiming that interspecies evolution is an abomination and we must erect stronger border to keep Cheetahlopes out of the herd. My friends, I believe this is the wrong approach. Cheetahlopes are hard- working, dedicated cyclists just like you and me. Don’t judge them by their power to watts ratio. You must go deeper. You have to ride side by side or maybe suck a wheel to get to know these new riders. So they are likely to steal away podium positions from Antelopes with their willingness to do menial jobs like training harder and making use of genetic gifts. We have to learn to live together.  Many of these cheetahlopes come from  dire circumstances like the Silos ride where they were cracked like eggs on the hot tarmac of the Jefferson Riviera. So have some compassion. Next Wednesday if you find yourself lending your pump to someone who looks like this:

Instead of this

Well, put your head down and stay near the front, cause its going to be fast.


P.S. Find out this weekend who patted Steve’s Ass on the Saturday morning ride!

1 comment:

  1. As long as the cheetahlopes are mamils, I'll take my beating happily.